Silence or Violence: Logan, Suicide, and the Culture of Masculine Silence

This post is relevant to my own experiences as well as the recent loss of a friend. Thanks, Satyros

Satyros Phil Brucato

Our friend Logan killed himself today. I wish we had known how badly he was hurting. We just spent most of this past weekend with him, and had no idea things were nearly this bad. If we had known, maybe we could have helped. But maybe not. These things don’t come from nowhere.

Logan MastersonLogan Masterson, author, friend, R.I.P.

It’s kind of a no-shit thing to say in hindsight that Logan had struggled with depression. Thing is, many people do, and never take their pain as far as this. It’s also kind of a no-shit statement to say that I wish I had known he was hurting so badly. And the problem is, he did what so many people – men especially – do: He played the Strong Silent Type until it killed him.

And when he finally did reach out, hours before the end, he got smacked in the face…

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Dust in the Wind

This morning I am stricken by the loss of a friend and a fellow writer. I never got a chance to meet him in person, but we’ve shared words online and in print. We appeared together in one of my first anthologies. It’s times like these that words like “God only gives us what we can handle” ring false. We often ask ourselves if there was something more we could have done, but I gave him my best words, my strongest thoughts and support. Sometimes, though it’s not enough.
I read an article yesterday about world building, about making everything too pat, too simple and logical. Life is not always logical. We’re not always happy when others expect us to be, even when we expect it of ourselves. Like most things, there are lessons to be learned and aspects we can never know. I hope to take something from the words he left us and the impact he made to make my contribution that much stronger.
Good bye my friend.

Surprise!

Another post! Has it been six months already? Nope! I’m going to try this new thing where I post at least once a week. In reality, I have more news. This time, it involves my art beyond writing. For those local to seacoast NH, I’ll be at the Wrong Brain Spring Bizaare[sic] an art show-slash-craft fair type thing for local artists and folk of eclectic taste. Here’s the Facebook event page. I’ll have some paintings, possibly some sculpture, some hand-crafted goods such as leather pouches set up as necklaces to some larger belt-pouches. I’ll also have a few different anthologies to which I’ve contributed on hand for signing purposes. Right now, those will include: Big Top Tales, Longest Hours and Capes & Clockwork. (The second C&C is in the works, but the publish date is still up in the air. It probably won’t be ready for May 7, 2016.) The location for this event is:
Millspace: Center for Art, History & Culture
55 Main St, Newmarket, New Hampshire 03857
May 7, 2016 11am to 5pm
In the spirit of surprises (this will be my first art show and only the second vendor gig I’ve done, so I wasn’t confident I’d pass muster), my wife and I got a surprise from the doctor the other day. We knew we’d be adding a little one to the family in October, but hadn’t planned on… two! “Twins!” as we keep looking at each other and saying. So we’ll have a bit bigger family. Oliver, my first son, spurred me to get going on selling stories and I’ve managed a couple of dozen sales so far. Maybe the pair will get me over the hill on a novel. We can hope! I’m going to give it a shot. Best to all! Keep reading, keep making!

Back to Blogtown

Creeaak! *dust pat cough* Oh hi! It’s been a while, well, more than a while, but I’m going to try to get some more regular posts in before the next Major Life Event coming in the fall. More on that later.
For now, I’d like to direct you to a couple of pieces I’ve had come out this year:
Koschei’s Needle, a flash piece about a Slavic mythological figure and Standing Stones, my first published poem, both out from Three Drops From a Cauldron online poetry magazine. The possibility of Koschei’s Needle coming out in a special print collection has been floated.
We’ll see how that progresses.
Also out at the start of the year was a circus story I wrote for Big Top Tales, a collection of circus stories set in 1956. My story takes place in my home town of East Kingston, NH and involves one of my favorite animals, elephants, as well as one of my least favorite, Nazis. You can find a lovely review here:Pulp Fiction Review: Big Top Tales.
I had a fun visit with some New Hampshire writers last night. We met at a library which hosted us as part of a regular program. It was great to hear what everyone was working on, discuss issues we were having and sharing ideas for getting past them, and generally networking. We were lucky enough to have local writing legends James Patrick Kelly (see his new, snazzy website Here) and Rebecca Rule with us for guidance and insight.